The Problem With Tonberries
by DDRotaku
Summary: Okay, this is a cracky crack crack- fic involving Vinny the Vampire lol and a random tonberry. Who knew that Vince was the Cat-nip of the tonberry world? Rated T for language in the later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

The Problem with Tonberries...

Disclaimer: Usual Shtick... FFVII= Not mine. If it was= Me being one happy MoFo... lolz

(AN: Lol... got this one in my head last month... drew a couple pictures.... then the actual story came to me. Read and Review, Kk? Squeetiemixsqueesquee....)

Chapter 1: Mission Complete...?

Well, to put things in perspective, things weren't going to well in AVALANCHE; and I mean you would not BELIEVE how many random battles they had gotten into... But all that aside, their latest mission was finally complete and they were all headed to the Healin Lodge where they could get some much required rest. On the way there, however, something would happen that would haunt them the rest of their lives...

*Random battle music plays*

"Ugh," Cloud sighed "Not again... VINCENT, TIFA..." They came running to his side. Out of the party, they were the ones with the highest health left. All three got in their battle positions. Suddenly, Cloud saw what it was that they would be fighting. He gasped and began breathing heavily. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!" He sceamed "TONBERRY!!! RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!" Vincent took one look at it after Tifa and Cloud had left. He had never come into contact with Tonberries before, so he had no idea what they were so afraid of. He walked up to it and knelt to the ground. Tifa looked back for her cousin (finally realizing that he wasn't there with them). She saw him next to he small, seemingly harmless creature and sreeched "VINCENT!!! GET AWAY FROM THAT THING BEFORE YOU GET KILLED!!!"

Cloud looked back at his companion. Frankly he was amazed that Vincent was that close to a Tonberry and not getting stabbed. "V-vincent" he spoke, "You m-might wanna l-listen to T-tifa..." The former Turk simply shrugged and walked off towards them. 'I don't see what those guys are afraid of... that thing is practically harmless...'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Tonberry of the Night

*At the Healin Lodge*

"Man, Vince," said Yuffie, darting up at him "I can't believe that Tonberry let you get that close to it!!!" He cocked an eyebrow. "I don't see what all of you are so scared of," he stated, "That thing was perfectly harmless." The rest of AVALANCHE stared at him momentarily. "Ya don't know much bout Tonberries do ya, Drac?" Dracula had become a regular nickname for Vincent since Cloud had woke him up. Quite frankly, he was getting sick of it already. Not wanting to start up trouble, he simply tilted his head. "OhmyGod!!!" Yuffie started, "Those things look so cute-" "But," Cid picked up, "They're real deadly. Got a lot of health, ya 'ear." Barret nodded, "Not exactly som'n' ya'd wanna run into in the market, ya know, Drac?" Vincent shrugged "I'm still not exactly sure what you guys mean... but, I suppose I have no choice but to listen to the 'advice'."

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Later that night, around ten or so, Cloud finally announced that he was going to 'hit the sack'. After him, followed Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie, then Shera and Cid. "Come to think of it, boo," Barret started, "How do robots go to sleep?" Cait Sith looked at him and replied "We don't. We jest po'er dewn an po'er up as the day goes on." Barret looked as if he'd lost interest. He stood up, streched out and walked toward his room. Nanaki was already curled up at Vincents' feet. Cait walked over to him. "Well," it started, "I guess I'd best be storin' up energy for t'morrow, laddie. G'night." Vincent nodded. Cait powered down and fell 'asleep' next to Nanaki. Vincent stayed up for another couple hours and then made his way to his room.

Sometime that hour, after everyone was asleep,

A tonberry stood at Vincents' door.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Pet Issues

Vincent woke from his surpisingly sound sleep at around six thirty- ish the next morning. As he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a Tonberry, curled up to his chest. 'What in the world...?' thought Vincent. He moved to get up, but wherever he moved, the little green thing would keep snuggling up closer to him. "Umm...," he said to himself "Okaaay... how do I get out of this?"

Cloud walked past his room, still half asleep. The sight of a Tonberry waking him up, he ran to Cid and Sheras' room for help. "What on Gods' green earth do you WANT Cloud?" "Cid..." he panted "Vincent... Tonberry... Bedroom..." Cid looked at the spikey- haired man in confusion. "Shera," he said, turning to his wife "I'll be right back, 'Kay, sugar?" Shera nodded and turned back over on her side to go back to sleep.

Cloud hurriedly led Cid to Vincents' room. In the process of Cloud explaining to Cid what had happened, Vincent had managed to get out of the bed and get dressed, that little cuddle- bug of a Tonberry tagging along with him anywhere he went. Vincent met them at the door, the green squoosh behind him. "Can I help you?" He asked. Cloud, still dumbfounded that a tonberry would ever come that close to ANYTHING without stabbing it, only stuttered. "Uhhh," Cid began, "First thing's first, I guess... How'd that thing get here... and uhh.. WHY?"

Vincent only shrugged. "It must have come here sometime during the night... I don't really know... I was asleep." Cid stood there in shock. He'd never seen a Tonberry this close before. "So," he asked, "How long's this thang been followin' you around, Vince?" "Hmm... Probably since yesterday." Cloud suddenly remembered the random battle they had gotten into with the Tonberry. "Wow," He finally managed to spit out, "that thing must REALLY like you," he snickered "Dracula." Vincent rolled his eyes.

Now, not many people know this, but Tonberries aren't too different from dogs in their sense of... sensing. Tonberries CAN sense your feelings and emotions. This particular one, upon hearing Cloud call Vincent 'Dracula', sensed that Vincent was annoyed. At that point, it took out its' knife and came toward Cloud. Vincent looked down as it was walking (very slowly, mind you, this IS a Tonberry we're talking about) toward him and snatched the knife from its' hand.

As the hour passed, the three companions continued talking; that little Squooshball reaching up to grab its' knife back from Vincent the whole time.

AN: Lol... in case anyone whose been reading my stories doesn't have a clue, I LOVE using random and akward words... I love Tonberries... and Chocobos... and Cactaurs... and Reno (oh, hush we all know he's a beast...Lol) but all that's besides the point... anywho, keep reading, I'll try to get the next chapters up soon Kk? SQUEE!!!


End file.
